Tuesday 28th September 2004 (Day 1)

After being dragged out of bed at some really unnatural hour by Tom because "Daddy, Alec cryin'. You come now", (Alex was sat in bed happily playing with toys,) we all went back into hospital.

Ward 10 was even more like organised chaos that before. There are a lot a new arrivals and no bed free for Alex. We went for lunch at the Thackery Musium while waiting. Tom was so full of energy at one point, waiting in the queue to order food, he licked the bum of the guy in front! Yuck.

We only had to wait a little longer till someone else left and we were given a side room. Alex was immediately given his first chemotherapy but that did not stop him from running round trailing the drip behind him. We have been told that this cycle contains drugs that are even more (cyto)toxic than those before. Even so we were not expecting Alex to be poorly for a week or so. It was a shock when Kirsten and Tom had gone home, Alex seemed to be asleep, I took a nappy down to the bins. On returning Alex was crying and had been sick, lots and his NG tube was coming out of his mouth again.

He was sick a dozen or so times but he needed a new NG tube so nurse Jaydeen put a new one in. Alex kept trying to sleep but was still being sick. He was prescribed an iv anti-sickness and fell asleep shortly after.

This cycle can affect the eyes so eye drops are needed every two hours in the day and every four over night. Alex had to be woken shortly after falling asleep to be given the drops. Welcome back to hospital Alex.

Wednesday 29th September 2004 (Day 2)

Just a routine day of chemo. Alex played most of the day. He was released of all the pumps early morning so he jut ran around the ward causing mayhem.

Thursday 30th September 2004 (Day 3) - Our wedding anniversary

Booted out of our room and placed with the lower classes in a bay. We've had bed 3 before - there's not many Alex has not stayed in - still staying in a bay is a thousand times more difficult that having a room. It's very rarely quite, even in the early hours. Hospitals are not a place for the sick.

For lunch we were going to have a romantic dinner to celebrate out fourth wedding anniversary in a nice Italian restaurant. Instead we went shopping in Ikea. Don't get me wrong, Ikea was my second choice. Very romantic.

Thanks to Joan, David and Tom for looking after Alex while we were having a romantic errr... shop.

In the evening, Kirsten and I got all dolled up in our least hospital smelling togs and went to the cinema. The film was a real chicks flick, so much so that 99% of the audience was female or under duress. Quite a good film but very girlie.

Thanks to my Mum and Dad for looking after Alex while we were surrounded by girls.

I had a huge headache, so Kirsten kindly sent me packing to Eckersley House even though it was my turn on duty that night.

Friday 1st October 2004 (Day 4)

Confusion reigned. We were told that Alex could go out for the day. I rushed to ring my Mum and Dad, who were coming to look after him but the phone had run out of battery. Just after that, Mum and Dad arrived. Oops. They went off to Amber's wedding and we went to Ilkley.

Alex enjoyed taking the dogs, Grandad, Mum and Dad for a walk in Middleton Woods. He's becoming better with voicing objects: he now says "woof" to the dogs... and the trees, cars, Grandad. "Moo" is now reserved for horses.

David took Kirsten and Alex back to the hospital and Tom and I went back home after meeting Uncle Andrew at the airport, which Tom really enjoyed. Note this is the brave Kirsten on duty for a third night in a row. It's tiring just doing one, especially in a bay. The other kids are waking all the time and Alex needs eye drops during the night.

Saturday 2nd October 2004 (Day 5) - Amber's Wedding

Congratulations to Amber and her new husband on their wedding day. Best wishes from all the Squires clan and we hope to see you soon.

Tom and I went to Water Babies in the morning. Paul has been kind enough to hold a place open for Tom while we are in a muddle. Thanks Paul, Tom really enjoys his Saturday morning dip.

Alex was free to leave the hospital again so Tom and I picked them up. We rampaged around Tropical World in Leeds. Alex was unusually independent and stomped off in any direction that took his fancy. For someone who has just learnt to walk, he can't half disappear into a crowd quickly.

Kirsten had dropped her purse at the cinema on Thursday so we used the excuse to go back to see another film. Joan and David took Alex back to hospital and Andrew tried to tire out Tom for the evening.

Sunday 3rd October 2004 (Day 6) - Last day of chemotherapy

This is the last day of chemo. Unless Alex relapses and the docs have to try something else, this is the day that Alex finishes the protocol. He still has to battle the side effects and we are really not looking forward to the infections, especially since a consultant warned us that it may be worse than the last cycle.

Alex finished his bright blue chemo at about 8. All we needed then was the OK from the doctors. It was just after 11 when we nearly ran out of the door.

Lunch with my Mum and Dad at Bolton Abbey cafe followed by a walk to the Cavendish Pavilion with Cormac, Belinda and Jacob. Tom was carried most of the way there but since it was pouring down on the was back, he was very happy to splash through every puddle in his new shoes. We retired back home to warm up.

Alex seemed to go to bed contented but very tired. I set up his over night drip feed and Kirsten gave the 20:00 eye drops. Just after that he was very sick and we had to pull the NG tube out. I rang the hospital who told us to give more anti-sickness drugs and see if he sleeps through the night. Alex is very pale, we suspect that his HG count is very low, it was 8.2 yesterday, usually anything below 8 warrants a blood transfusion. I don't think we'll be at home for long.

Monday 4th October 2004 (Day 7) - Happy Birthday Mum

First order of the day was to have a new NG tube fitted. The Outreach nurses from Airedale General Hospital came to the house again. They are a really nice bunch and are always willing to out of their way. I had given Alex his medicines orally even though they taste foul but now we could catch up with his brand new shiny tube.

We took my Mum out for a birthday meal at Steps in Ilkley. It's nice to have an excuse to relax and even Kirsten mellowed - after three big glasses of wine.

We have been taking his temperature every hour or so and it was steadily going down. When he went to bed it was at 35.2C. Another call to Ward 10 and they said to cover him with thick blankets to warm him up but if it goes down any more to bring him in.

During the last cycle I remember his temperature dropping then bouncing up to 39C, he was then very poorly for weeks. Dread is probably a mild word. I've not really dreaded anything before but waiting to see if Alex is as poorly as last time fills me with a real and proper dread. Worse than knowing you have to go to the dentist.